The Japanese Paradox: How are standardized tests failing Japan?

Although, English is currently taught in Japan as early as secondary school, many Japanese learners struggle with conversational English (Gu, 2015). In a study conducted by Haffner et al, (2010), it was found that Japanese M.B.A. applicants would memorize English phrases in chunks in order to answer formulaic interview questions. However, when the Japanese M.B.A. applicants were asked a basic conversational question (I.e.: How was your day?), the majority would freeze and show a lack of proficiency in basic conversational English.

Why are Japanese people struggling with communicating in English?

Japanese society has a heavy emphasis on results based on standardized tests (Yohsida, 2003). These tests are focusing on English grammar and listening (TOIEC, EIKEN, BULLATS). There is only one problem. Several psychological studies have found that standardized tests do not actually measure proficiency in a task (Howard et al, 2013; Stiggins, 2002). In other words getting a high score on a test doesn't actually mean you are good at what was being tested.

The reason is that standardized tests actually test your memory but not your proficiency. Not to mention if the test is multiple choice, it is testing your ability to recognize a wrong answer, not use a correct one.

Combine these issues with the Japanese obsession for perfection and it is no wonder why when it comes time to talk, they remain silent. Factor in test anxiety and now you have a population that may be proficient in communication, but cannot get a high score on the TOIEC. Meaning they get passed up for business opportunities at work, because of a faulty assessment tool.

It’s a long way to go

Give in learning a second language is already difficult. But imagine being told by society that it is a requirement. This is why I feel bad for many of my friends learning English out here in Japan. I can only hope that they realize that:

Sometimes courage is more important than perfect grammar

My Japanese sucks. But I can communicate because I don’t get hung up on perfect grammar. If I can get my point across, then that’s good enough. For you grammar police out there:

I’m your worst nightmare ;)

Have a great week everyone!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

References

Gu, L. (2015). Language ability of young English language learners: Definition, configuration, and implications. Language Testing, 32(1), 21-38.

Hafner, A., Joseph, R., & McCormick, J. (2010). College Readiness for All:           Assessing the Impact of English Professional Development on Teaching            Practice and Student Learning. Journal of Urban Learning, Teaching, and           Research, 6, 15-30.

Howard, S. J., Johnson, J., & Pascual-Leone, J. (2013). Measurement of mental attention: Assessing a cognitive component underlying             performance on standardized intelligence tests.

Stiggins, R. J. (2002). Assessment crisis: The absence of assessment for  learning. Phi Delta Kappan, 83(10), 758.

Yoshida, K. (2003). Language education policy in Japan: The problem of  espoused objectives versus practice. The Modern Language Journal, 87(2), 290-292

Hate Research: The effects of negative stimuli on your body

Do your research! This is a comment I see posted often and it is usually followed by some negative article, used to justify hating some cultural group, that is not part of the norm in Western societies.

Well here is some real research.

Anger Kills

According to Williams (2012), anger caused by annoyances and negative perceptions leads to stress and is a predicator to health problems. Every time you get angry physiologically your heart rate raises and your blood pressure goes up. When this pattern is repeated enough times,it begins to take its toll on your cardiovascular system.

This is why I am not surprised when I hear that someone with a negative outlook on life is having health issues. This hurts everyone no matter what your political preferences are.

You are not changing anything

The worse part about this is your not changing anything. Perhaps your angry post made you feel better temporarily, but you may walk away more frustrated to know that you have been alienated by more of your friends. 

There is a time and a place

There is a time a place for the types of discussion you are trying to engage in (like Twitter). But in the end you need to ask your self

Is being bitter and angry about it worth it?

Is my health and well being effected by it?

Does my hate for a particular group consume me to the point that my friends are calling me crazy?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to take a chill pill.

The Forgiving Heart

According to Kaplan (1992), people who practice forgiveness and who are sociable have fewer issues caused by anger and stress.  You can’t change the world but you can change the way you see it. With the Internet it can become easy to search out all the negative things occurring.

But should you?

Especially when sometimes the websites are created to entice you to get angry. In then end your body is the one paying for it.

I could only hope that no matter why you are holding hate in your heart, you can learn to let some of it go for your own good.

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

Second Degree Black Belt Instructor

Kajukenbo

References

Kaplan, B. H. (1992). Social health and the forgiving heart: The Type B story. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 15(1), 3-14.

Williams, R. (2012). Anger kills: seventeen strategies for controlling hostility that can harm your health. Crown.

The Story of Stan: Footprints of our Souls

All of our lives are like stories that eventually end, some just end more abruptly than others. Certain stories have greater impact on some people more than they do for others. A few stories that you might wish would end soon, while other stories you wish would go on forever.

Some stories leave deep footprints in our souls like the tale of "Uncle" Stan "The Man" Morton, which was one of epic proportions. A story so profound that anyone who encountered it, was unable to resist the sentiment that unselfishly exuded from every moment in Stan's story. One of the few stories that stumbled into my life by mere chance, and has enabled me to enhance the depth of my own story.

A story which continually inspired others to re-look at their own thinking and to push themselves to expand their potential to its fullest.

A story which has been etched into the deepest recesses of my soul for reflection while my own story is still being written.

Now part of my story is to ensure others know, and never forget the tale of Stan Morton. A friend, a mentor, a father, a grandfather, a brother, a son, a master of musical arts, DJ of the soul of life, a communicator, a compassionate listening ear, a doctor of love, the pulse of the party, a joker, a confidant, a soldier, a leader, a protector, a symbol of living every second to its fullest, and so many more things to each individual who encountered his story; even if only in passing.

May he rest eternally in peace knowing he was and always will be deeply loved. When we sense his beats rocking out the rest of our departed ones in the spirit world, it will give those of us still writing our stories solace, in knowing that all those whom we have lost, are now in his competent hands.

Until the day each of our own stories end and we join your party in the spirit world, we will continue to remember his story fondly.

R.I.P. Staff Sargent Stan Morton 

Social Gelo with Chad

Chad Lafenhagen  

Gaijin: American and Japanese Stereotypes

In America we have many stereotypes for people of different ethnic and racial backgrounds. Now before I start, I want to make it clear that I adhere to the psychological perspective of  stereotypes as erroneous generalizations fed by peoples misconceptions of schemas. 

Evolution and Stereotypes

People use stereotypes because as humans we like to use categories so we can make quick decisions. When humans were hunter gatherers if we saw someone who didn't look like us, this was a red flag. The person could be from another tribe and this could lead to a confrontation and a competition for resources.Thus stereotypes were a useful tool in recognizing your allies and enemies. But this was a long time ago and needs to be done away with.

Stereotypes in Japan

As I mentioned in the U.S. we have stereotypes and break them down from race to ethnicity. In Japan they do something similar for other Asian groups such as for Chinese and Koreans. But when it comes to foreigners, we are all Gaijin ( or Gaikokujin if you want to be polite).

It's funny because Gaijin is considered by some to be a strong way of saying foreigner. Essentially any Non-Japanese person is a Gaijin.I have spoken to many Japanese people about their perceptions of Gaijins and here are some common stereotypes:

•  All Gaijin are loud, touchy and smile a lot 
• They are always happy for no reason but can be prone to aggressive behavior
• They are strong and very good at any sport

The interesting is that these stereotypes are applied to all Non-Japanese looking people. Unlike the U.S. breakdown between race and ethnicity,these generalizations are being applied to a larger range of people. Thus they lead to many more errors in judgment. 

When Traveling Abroad

One of my friends once asked one of his clients what stood out the most when traveling to the U.S. for the first time and they said:

There were so many Gaijin!

The funny thing here is that as the Japanese person is perceiving everyone to be a foreigner, they in fact were the foreigner in this situation.

Oh the tangled web stereotypes weave.

What it comes down to is that this type of thinking lays the  groundwork  for a multiple layer of misunderstandings.

American Stereotypes

Now less cross-compare stereotypes Americans have about Japanese people:

• All Asians look alike Japanese, Chinese they are all the same
• ll Japanese people do martial arts
• Japanese women are beautiful but Japanese men are not considered attractive by American Women
• Japanese people are always doing something crazy and they sell used women underwear from vending machines

My list can go on and easily become more offensive. In fact many of the stereotypes that Americans have about Japanese people are generalized to most Asians. I remember I tried introducing an American girl to my Japanese friend and she laughed as if I was joking. She said:

He can barely speak English and I don't understand anything he says

My Japanese friend had been living in the U.S for about 4 years and his English was good enough to study business at our local college. But she just couldn't get over his accent. 

In another incident I saw a post of a social experiment of American women being asked if Asian men were attractive. The first response was laughter. They couldn't even take the question seriously. 

Deeper understanding

In many ways I think American stereotypes are a little more negative. But I want to remind everyone that using stereotypes never leads to anything good. 

With Prime Minister Abe preparing the Japanese population for an influx of tourism expected for the upcoming Tokyo Olympics. These stereotypes need to be broken down.

Yes it's true that stereotypes are an easy way to categorize people. In some cases they may be true. But using stereotypes can take away from the experience of getting to know individuals on a deeper level. 

I would hope both Gaikokujin and Japanese people can realize this. It is to the benefit for us as visitors to Japan and Japanese people to have an open mind. This works both ways. 

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

Networking on Facebook: Do's and don'ts

"Seriously if one more person sends me a dick pick I'm deleting my Facebook"

-Facebook User

Facebook is for friends. But what happens when you want to use Facebook to market your blog or company website? In this video I go over my trial and error experience with managing my networking Facebook account. If you have any questions or need any help with your Networking Account feel free to message me! 

Angelo goes over some problems you may face when creating a Facebook account for networking and how to avoid some mistakes he made when managing his Networking account.

Staff Sargent Stan Morton: Fought for his country overseas killed at home in the U.S.

As you can read in the title this story has a tragic ending. I am writing this as a call to all of the patriots I see on my Facebook feed constantly posting things about supporting our troops (while mixing it with their political views). Well here is your chance! Attached is the following article that gives a description of the car that struck and killed Staff Sargent Stan Morton (retired Marine).

Please share the article with everyone! His killer is still on the loose and needs to be brought to justice for Stan and his family!

http://www.wtoc.com/story/32018116/authorities-searching-for-bmw-involved-in-fatal-hit-and-run-in-okatie

Just copy and past the above link to your Social Media Account Please!

More than a Hero 

Now I wanted to take this moment to talk about Stan Morton as the person I knew him as. Yes he was a hero who fought for his country, and yes he was also a loving husband and father, but he was so much more than can be put into words.To be honest when I first met Stan I wasn't sure what to make of him. At the time he was dating his soon to be wife (my second mom) Debbie Morton and I was trying to figure him out.

I used to have my own strong opinions and stereotypes about the military. My grandfather also was in the marines and he fit more of the description that I had in mind, when it came to former military personnel. 

To test Stan I asked him:

What do you think about the U.S. involvement in Iraq and (current president) Bush?

His answer took me off guard. He said:

President Bush is my commander and chief and I have taken a vow to follow any orders he passes down. I may have my own personal opinions but they are irrelevant to the situation and my duty as a Marine. 

This articulate way of answering the question made me respect him even more. He was a man of honor and served his country. But he was also an intellectual. He never once spoke badly of his situation or his duty. Although I had my own opinions, he reminded me that he fought, in order for me to have the freedom, to the opinions that I had. Now I've asked this question to former military before and most of them would get in my face and question my patriotism. But instead, Stan made me see that although we walked on different paths, we were not all that different. 

Mentor

Staff Sergeant Stan Morton and I had many long conversations about the military and his goals. On top of serving, he was also earning his degree through a distance learning education program. It was amazing the amount of work he put in to both his duty, family and education. He felt it was important not only to serve his country, but to also help his bothers in arms realize, that an education was important, if  they were  succeed as a civilians, once they finished their military careers. He would tell me about how he would tell this to the new recruits and the young Marines working their way up the chain of command. 

The Dj

Stan was also a DJ and a damn good one at that. He loved playing music and watching people have a good time! He didn't care what kind of music it was, his philosophy was to play what ever music put a smile on his clients faces! He even taught me how to rock the turn tables. Thanks to what he showed me, I was able to earn some extra money while finishing college. I will be forever in his debt for that. 

Focusing on life

These are just a few ways Sergeant Stan Morton effected me and my life. I decided to focus on these two stories because when ever I think of him, I remember these occasions. I'm sure there are millions more, but for me, these moments stood out the most. Well these and one time that me and Stan shared a bottle of Old English with Mad Dog 20/20 for my birthday. Either way, I know he is out there some where smiling. He was always smiling and making others laugh. This is how I have chosen to remember him. I believe Stan would want us to focus on his life and not his death so this is why I wrote this article. Please send your positive thoughts and vibes (prayers) to the surviving family. 

R.I.P. Staff Sargent Stan Morton

PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THE ARTICLE (ABOVE) TO FIND HIS KILLER

THANK YOU

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology ) 

Closing Time: Transferring as people come and go

Transferring is a common occurrence in Japanese business culture. In fact many families are split a part because of this. Although they don’t divorce, they essentially become accustomed to living in different homes, in different prefectures. This is the situation my sister in law finds her self in. She lives in Osaka and her husband was transferred to the island of Shikoku. They love each other. But in order to create stability for their two sons, they decided to live separately because of the nature of Japanese business culture (he gets transferred to a different prefecture every two years). She takes care of their home in Osaka and when he gets a chance he visits during the holidays.

Working in a changing environment

Event though many Japanese people are used to having their close friends and family routinely sent away. This is something that many Expats find disturbing. As an English teacher working at the same company for three years, I still struggle with seeing all of my coworkers leaving every year.  I keep contact with some of them, but about 75% I never see again. It has made it difficult for me to bother getting close to new people. After all what’s the point if they are just going to leave!

It’s hard to see them go but saying goodbye is too much

Now days I mostly keep to myself. When new coworkers come and go, I don’t to the welcome or farewell parties. Luckily, I have never been transferred because I chose not to climb the corporate ladder and stayed in an entry-level position. But if I wanted more out of my corporate career, I must transfer. This is the Japanese way! But I’m a rebel and decided to run my own business and only work for the man part time, to avoid this situation.

Single serving friends

In the movie fight club there is a scene where Brad Pitt’s character talks about meeting people once in public situations like at an airport, in these situations you tend to meet people you will never see again. He referred to these people as “single serving friends”. Like a single serving of sugar for you coffee at Starbucks, or a one-night stand some people have with a stranger. You meet someone, you are friendly, but you appreciate the beauty of the time limit on the interaction.

This has been my approach to meeting new coworkers as well as other Expats out here.  It may sound sad, but I have learned to focus on the people that I feel will stick around and be a part of my future here in Japan.

This has made the relationships with the people that do stick around, that much stronger.

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

Black Belt: It is only the beginning

A little after I got my black belt in Kajukenbo , I had the honor of spending some time with Great Grand Master Shizu Allan Abad, before he joined Sijo Emperado in heaven.  He knew he would be leaving us soon and was talking about the future of martial arts and in particular Kajukenbo. One of the things he told me really stuck, he said:

“Once you get your black belt you start all over again”

-Shizu Allan Abad

I’m a black belt

In my journeys I have met several black belts from the U.S. to Japan. Many of these black belts would tell me “I’m a black belt in (insert style here) ” and I would say, “that’s awesome, where do you train?”. The answer that followed would both surprise and disappoint me. Many of them would say that they don’t train anymore, or that they are focusing on some other sport, rather than their martial arts. I would also hear the all famous “ I need to get into shape before I start training again”.  This line upsets me the most, because martial arts training, is training. This is like saying I need to get in shape, before I start going to the gym to get into shape.

Always a black belt

Shizu Allan Abad’s quote came to have a new meaning for me. As a black belt some people think that they have earned a certificate like a license or a degree, but a black belt is none of these things.

If you don't use it, you lose it

I should clarify that you never can lose your black belt (although some people literally lose it because they forgot where they keep it). But you can lose the skills that earned your black belt by not training. That’s why I think it is sad to hear, that someone invested so much time into something just to waste it away.

A black belt is just to hold up your pants

It really is. That’s why it’s so important to “start all over again”. Go back to what you learned as a white belt and do it all over again and again, this is the true path of a martial artist. It doesn’t matter what style of martial arts you do, once you have started walking down the path you keep going. Otherwise your black belt is just holding up your pants.

A Philosophy for Life

The funny thing is that right before I finished my degree in Social Science my professor and mentor told me the same thing, she said:

“After you get your Masters you never stop learning”

- Karen Glover PhD Sociology

When she said this I laughed. She thought I was laughing at her and I had to explain that this philosophy was something I already knew as a martial artist. Shizu Allan Abad’s words continued to resonate with me even through out my academic career. You should never stop learning and building what you know. I can’t thank Shizu Allan Abad and my Sifu Sigung Ronnie Issaguire more for teaching me this life lesson. 

Thank you both very much!

いつもありがとうございます(itsumo arigatougozaimasu)

While you are sitting around someone else is training to defeat you.

Social Gelo with Angelo

Sifu Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology/2nd degree Black Belt Instructor Kajukenbo)

Cinco de Mayo: Angry liberals and drunk conservatives

I was watching a video posted by the Huffington Post that showed news journalists teaching Americans how to throw a proper Cinco de Mayo Party. In between the clips, a Latina addressed the issues with Cinco de Mayo and culture appropriation. When it was finished she said that there is a right way and a wrong way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

I was still confused as to what is the “right way” to celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

History

Before I start here is a little history. Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence day (that would be September 16). Cinco de Mayo is the victory of the Battle of Puebla over the French in 1862. Mexico fought off the French, using a small army that had less weapons.

Why are Liberal’s Angry?

Liberal’s are angry because they feel that Americans use Cinco de Mayo as an excuse to get drunk and not for its historical significance. Conservatives see this as another rant fueled by Social Justice Police and they feel it is an encroachment of their freedoms. Of course making fun of another culture is politically incorrect, but there is no law that says you can’t be an asshole and do it anyways.

Are Liberals being too sensitive?

Just the top headline will trigger some of my friends that I studied social justice with. But anyway, I find it interesting that my Mexican friends are at a split on this themselves. Some celebrate Cinco de Mayo and others don’t. I know that Cinco de Mayo brings a lot of tourism to Mexico, so economically it is to their benefit for Americans to party on this Mexican holiday. However, is this an issue for Mexicans or Social Justice Police?

What’s worse a society with no diversity or one that celebrates it?

A Society with no diversity

A society with no diversity does not celebrate other nations holidays, period. In fact monoculture societies don’t even know about the holidays of other countries. I live in Japan, I didn't see anything that indicated that Japanese people knew yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. Instead the new Star Wars Force Awakens movie was released and that is what took precedent in the News.

So what would you prefer acknowledgment or nothing?

It’s not just Cinco de Mayo

During Saint Patrick’s Day I saw videos that asked Americans not to call the holiday St. Patty’s Day. It seems that in our attempts to celebrate other countries holidays we have a tendency to piss the natives off (big pun intended there).

No matter where you stand on this, if you're an American, think about how America is falling apart because of our division. Our slogan is United We Stand, what follows is divided we fall. There has to be more constructive dialogue between the two camps. If the pendulum swings to hard to the left or right sooner or later there will be a backlash.

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

Kajukenbo in Japan: Martial Arts Training in Okayama

I've mentioned this before but for those of you who don't know on top of being a Father, Surfer and Social Scientist, I am also a certified Martial Arts Instructor (2nd Degree Black Belt, Kajukenbo). If you want to learn more about the style I use I recommend you watch (or listen) to my podcast on the subject here:

Podcast

or Youtube here:

Angelo goes over why he got into martial arts and a little history about the Hawaiian Style of Kenpo Karate known as Kajukenbo. He also touches on some martial arts philosophy and talks about the evolution of martial arts from traditional to MMA. What is the best style? Watch and find out!

Either way. For the longest when I moved to Japan I thought I was the only one in Japan, who practiced the Hawaiian Martial Art of Kajukenbo. Until one day I came across an email address on a blog to a Sifu named John Hojlo. It was an old email that asked about training in Japan. I took a long shot and contacted him and found that Japan had one other person that practiced the same style as me. 

What's the difference between Kajukenbo and MMA?

I don't want to sound like I am selling my style as the best, but Kajukenbo is one of the original methods that incorporates traditional marital arts, with conventional self defense. It is also one of the first mixed martial arts (MMA). But since it has a traditional background there are several different styles used when compared to the MMA gyms you see today. 

For example if you go to a MMA gym, you will find a few dominant styles such as Kickboxing and Jiu-Jitsu. Your training will be mostly likely based on cage fighting, with an emphasis on endurance and strength training. You will be doing a lot of drills with the pads(punching mitts and kicking pads)  and rolling (grappling). Depending on your camp, there will also be a lot of sparring. 

Kajukenbo has all of the above mentioned drills and also includes self defense for  the street. Your sparring will include 1 on 1 and also multiple opponents on 1. This is to teach you when to fight and how to fight off several attackers. Now the goal is not always to win, but to survive and learn when to execute a tactical retreat. 

 Kajukenbo also uses Katas (forms) to pass on the knowledge that was handed down to us by the founders. The forms go back to Japan, Korea and China (depending on the school). Some people hate forms and say that they are useless. But if you really love martial arts, forms are the art part of martial ARTS , otherwise all you're left with is combat. 

Training in Okayama

This brings me to the title of this article. Yesterday I went to train with Sifu John and his students in Okayama. I've been doing my Kajukenbo training on my own, but lately, I've been mostly doing MMA, Kickboxing and Grappling for my sparring. I was reminded really quick what Kajukenbo sparring is like.

After we were done with some Kung Fu drills we went into the sparring.

The first round with Sifu John was pretty good. He landed a few strikes and I got a few punches in. Towards the end of the match I tried to do a take down and got grabbed by the neck. I'm not sure what the technique was but it was followed with a knee. Of course it was all controlled, nothing crazy, but today my neck is still sore. In fact the second round I got in a guillotine submission. But unlike MMA this is not the end of the fight. We stood back up and continued are round. This was when Sifu John landed a low kick to my thigh. Needless to say I couldn't get my 5k run in today because I could barely walk (great job Sifu John). 

"After getting hit hard Kiyai, after the fight, you can always cry by yourself in the fitting room"

- Sigung Ronnie Issaguire 

I watched the other fights and saw light head butts, thumb pokes to the throat and even a few over head slams. It sounds brutal, but it was all controlled and the bleeding was kept to a minimum. We did not use shin guards, only MMA gloves and kept it light for the head shots to avoid brain injuries. When we were finished we all bowed and shook hands. 

It was great time and I can't wait to do it again!

I had a blast as always.We finished the training and Sifu John was kind enough to have my family over for lunch. His lovely wife made some great food and we all had a good time talking about Martial Arts, Japan and video games.  All in all it was a great day off!

I didn't get any video footage this time. But next time I definitely will!

If you ever get a chance to do some Kajukenbo make sure to bring a cup because we also allow groin strikes and most of all get ready to have some fun! 

I want to thank my Ohana in Okayama for having me over to train and I am looking forward to seeing them all again soon!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Sifu Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology/ Kajukenbo Instructor) 

100%Foodie : I'm not scared of no food!

I remember this one time in California, I took my friends to try some Vietnamese food for the first time. When we got to the restaurant the first thing they commented on was that it “smelled funny”. After looking at the menu, they couldn't find anything they wanted to eat, because they were not comfortable with most of the traditional dishes available.  I ended up recommending the cold cut sandwiches.

I ordered the Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup with tripe, beef, basil and bean sprouts). For extra flavor I threw in some Hot Sauce and Vietnamese Barbecue Sauce. It was delicious. As I ate my soup, my friends looked at me like I was a guest on Fear Factor. 

Why were my friends so scared of the food?

My friends were your average Americans. They ate mostly a diet consisting of steak, hamburgers and the occasional grilled chicken. They also tended to eat fast food like Burger King or McDonalds. It's not that they don't like vegetables or soup, they are just not open to eating any food outside of the Americanized versions of what they know, like Panda Express. 

Now this works both ways

When I first moved to Japan I had a hard time trying new food that was way outside my comfort zone, like Natto (fermented bean curd). But as time passed not only did I learn to eat it, I started craving it.

Japanese people would always ask me, are you okay with eating (insert dish here)?

The more types of food I tried the more I wanted to try something new. I wouldn't say I am an exotic foodie, but I don't tend to say no to food. Now this should work both ways but it doesn't. The other day I was eating a sweet potato with melted butter. Apparently in Japan they do not eat sweet potato with butter. They prefer it dry. When I invited my family and friends to try some, they made the same look my American friends made at the Vietnamese restaurant. Eventually my wife tried some and she liked it. But her mom looked at her, like how could you stomach it? 

I'll try anything as long as it's dead

As some of you know I like to travel. So far the most exotic food I've eaten was duck trachea(pictured below). 

But I do draw the line at eating anything while it is still alive. Something about eating an animal or insect, while it is still alive seems cruel to me. Otherwise than that, I am open to try just about anything once. 

I know one day I will regret this

I still have never had an insect of an type. I just hope when that they day comes the chef would have prepared it with the right herbs and spices!

Happy Travels and Eating Fellow Foodies!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

A New Friend: Making friends in Japan as an Expat

I've been living in Japan for about 3 years now. My life in the countryside is pretty solitary. Of course I have my family, but as far as friends, I have only made a few through out my time here.

Work is going great! But my social life is not! 

Now I should probably clarify that my schedule as an ESL teacher puts me in a unique position(that many ESL expats are in). I work when most of my Japanese friends are free. It makes sense that I teach English to Japanese people when they finish work. Only problem is, that is the same time, my Japanese friends are available to hang out. This formula has created a cycle of seeing my Japanese friends once or twice a year. 

What about your ESL coworkers?

To add to my socializing dilemma, I live two hours from most of my ESL coworkers. Since I run my own business, I spend most of my time at my office in the countryside. I have met a few international friends that are also ESL teachers. But we have opposite schedules. Throw kids and a family into the mix and I have a similar situation as I do with my Japanese friends. 

I appreciate people more

Needless to say I have a new found appreciation for the people I meet and hang out with (even online). This brings me to the title of this post. I recently met a kid at my local gym. He approached me after some of the members told him to ask me about weight training. It took a lot of courage but he walked up and introduced himself (in Japanese). He knew some English but apologized because he felt it was not very good. He told me that he used to play baseball for his high school, but had to quit the team due to an injury. 

I made more than a new training partner

The kid was a big boy, about 190 lbs and 6 feet tall. He is 17 years of age and had his life was flipped upside down because of his injury. Since his scholarship was based on him playing baseball, when he got injured, he wasn'tjust kicked off the team, he was kicked out of school! I slowly learned more about him, while teaching him how to train light, around his hamstring injury. 

Meeting the kids family

Eventually the kids parents asked me to come over for dinner. They also asked me to bring my family along. My wife was reluctant at first because we didn't know much about them. But she did know the boy, and we both knew that the boy was very friendly. I told her:

"A friendly kid like that must have an awesome family"

We agreed to come over for dinner on a Saturday. As we walked into the house we saw a variety of posters on the wall and sports memorabilia.It turns out that the kids older brother is a professional Japanese baseball player, and he plays for a Japanese team called the Marines. His older sister was a black belt in Judo and lived in a city near by called Akashi. She did a homestay a few years back and could speak English. She actually called the house while I was there and spoke to my wife and I over the phone. 

Awesome kid and awesome parents

During the last few weeks training the kid I noticed a few ticks. He sometimes made some strange facial expressions. I figured some people make different types of faces while lifting weights(just look up some of faces Arnold makes when he works out). But I noticed over dinner, the kid would sometimes quietly grunt a little to himself. My psychology background started to kick in and I realized that something was up. Before I finished my assessment, the parents thanked me for training him and told me that the boy was born with slight brain damage. I was shocked!

Having a big heart is more important than having a big brain

I started thinking about how I met the kid and realized how much courage it took for someone like him, to approach someone like me. Over dinner I learned that his parents worked with special needs kids all their lives. This was before he was even born. They felt that the universe gave them their son and knew he was in good hands. I held back my tears of joy. These people were truly the most awesome Japanese people I've met in my time here.

I thought about how this kid makes time to work out with me before he goes to work.That's right! Since he's not going to school he got a part time job to help out at home. I was just floored about how kind this kid is. It goes to show that having a big heart can make up for anything. Here I was saying that I don't really get close to people because of my schedule, and this kid accommodates me into his schedule, even though he is dealing with so much more. 

Really cool family traditions

During dinner,some more people showed up and they introduced me to another kid that wanted to learn English. We exchanged contact information and the kid is going to join one of my elementary classes. I was really appreciative of the reference and it was all thanks to my new friend. Everyone was really friendly. Before the night ended the father told me about a little family tradition they have. 

Whenever people come over, before they leave, everyone says one goal that they want to accomplish before they meet again next time. One by one, young and old, we stood up and said what are goals were. After we were done we would clap and say GANBARE( 頑張れ) (try your best). It was really cool! My wife told me she felt like we were at an event. I told her that raising a kid with special needs must come with a lot of negative stigma from society. To make up for this, a positive atmosphere at home is needed. This family had an amazing positive vibe! 

The boys goals were to get his diploma through an adult school and nail a new job interview he had coming up.As well as gain muscle and bench press 225 lbs by his next birthday in August.

I saw the kid today and I'm happy to inform you that he got the job! Now we just got to work on his bench press! 

It just goes to show how far a positive attitude can take you in life! 

I am really lucky to be this kids coach and I will try my best to help him achieve his training goals!

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Sifu Angelo Ferrer ( Kajukenbo 2nd Degree Black Belt Instructor/ M.S. Psychology) 

Ancient Traditions Change with Time in Japan: Dowry paying for woman like a cow or something else?

Recently, I was talking to my wife about a friend of ours that is getting married and was shocked to find out that some people in Japan still practice a form of dowry before marriage. Now for those of you that don't know, dowry is when the parents of a bride offer a payment to the groom, as a bargaining chip before marriage (Goody, 2004).

Why Dowry is frowned upon? 

In some parts of India, this custom has been liked to violence against women, because it places the value of money on a person as an object, to be sold, like a goat or a cow(arguably because cows are considered sacred in India perhaps less valuable according to these standards) (Rastogi & Therly, 2006). This has led to controversy over this cultural practice in other parts of modern society.

Then and Now

It should be noted that in Japan this is not practiced by everyone. In fact it was most commonly practiced during the Edo Period over 200 years ago (Goody, 2004). This was when arranged marriages were also common. Once Japan entered into the global stage, both of these customs were done away with (Ochiai, 2015).

So if that's the case what was my wife talking about?

What my wife was talking about was a custom referred to as Yuinou (結納). This custom is more related to the person who is moving out of their parents home and not gender. In other words when a person gets married, they usually move out of their house. In Japan, traditionally they would move to the husbands parents house, to take care of them as they got older (Ochiai, 2015). However, both of these customs have changed and very few people pay Yuinou, or move back to their parents house. 

Wait I'm confused, I thought you said your wife was talking about Yuinou and your friend getting married?

Yes, you're right I was talking about how shocked I was about this practice. Although it is not as common, it is still practiced, especially by traditional folk living in the countryside of Japan. 

So how much did I pay for my wife?

Hey now! I am not that kind of guy! I only paid 32,373,000 yen/$300,000 U.S. ..just kidding! I wasn't expected to follow this custom. In fact even if I was, technically my wife's parents would have to pay my parents, since I'm the one who moved out my house to Japan. They dodged that bullet because I'm a foreigner. 

Do you know anyone who practiced this custom?

Funny thing is we actually know a Japanese family that had a similar situation. The husband moved out of his parents home to take care of his wife's aging parents. In this case the wife's parents paid Yuino to the husbands family. The opposite thing happened with my sister in law. Her husband paid 3,237,300 yen/$30,000 U.S. to my in laws, for taking her away to his home, after getting married. 

Practiced but not enforced

So if you're shocked like I was, remember it's practiced but not enforced. Also, if you are a foreigner you most likely do not have to participate in this custom. Although in my research I came across a few bloggers that did. There are a lot more traditional Japanese customs that go along with marriage that I will cover in the future. For now thanks for reading :) 

Do you know anyone who practiced Yuinou? Feel free to comment and share!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

References 

Goody, J. (2004). introduction to women, family and inheritance in china and japan. International Journal of Asian Studies, 1(02), 197-199.

Ochiai, E. (2015). Marriage practices and trends. Routledge Handbook of Families in Asia, 123.

Rastogi, M., & Therly, P. (2006). Dowry and its link to violence against women in India feminist psychological perspectives. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 7(1), 66-77.

The Crazy Train: Living with someone that has Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder

The reason I started studying psychology was because my mom has the above mentioned disorders. Later while studying psychology, I met several different psychology professors that said:

"I couldn't handle being a practicing psychologist so I decided to focus on research instead"

Why? What made them go from wanting to help people to saying they would rather be in a lab?

There is always one type of client that a psychologist can not work with. It's different for everyone. But the #1 client, that any psychologist will tell you, is the the most difficult to work with, is a client with co-morbid (meaning two disorders in one) Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder (Zimmerman et al, 2013). The reason being that these disorders combined are a dangerous mix of depression, manipulation and suicidal ideation. Making these clients, a high risk of using hurting themselves to control you. 

It's not their fault

Now to be fair, it's not their fault. The people that have this disorder have a biological disfunction caused by a chemical imbalance in their brain (McDermid & McDermid, 2016). One moment they are feeling great, in fact ecstatic, believing they have been chosen by god to save the world. The next minute they are angry and upset, blaming everyone around them for how they feel. Next they are guilty and depressed, looking for a way out (suicidal ideation). This is due to the surges of dopamine and epinephrine (adrenaline) their bodies release at random. Unfortunately, this combined with narcissism, makes them very difficult people to deal with.

How do professionals handle it?

 Psychologists take turns helping them on short term contracts. Since the possibility of suicide is very real, psychologists have to be on call 24/7. This can be mentally taxing. So they usually only work with these clients temporarily and pass them on to the next psychologist. They do this in shifts, so as to not hurt their professional relationships with their clients. With a combination of counseling and medication, people suffering from these disorders can live semi normal lives. 

How do you live with someone who wants to control you at all costs?

As I mentioned earlier my mother has these disorders. Now if you listened to my podcast on "The Cycle of Abuse", you also know that she physically abused of me until I was 13 years of age. After she couldn't control me with physical violence, she started holding herself hostage by hurting herself, when she couldn't get her way.

She used violence first

Before this point, during one of her angry outbursts she beat me with a belt and until she cut open the back of my knees. She once picked me up by the head and pulled my hair out. When the chemical imbalance was calmed, she would feel guilty and start crying. A suicide attempt would usually follow. She did so much  damage (physically and mentally),that I am writing a book about how I survived and the years of counseling it took for me to heal.

Violence no longer worked so she used guilt

Once I was old enough I got away. I was 16 years old when she decided to marry her abusive husband, who she met at a mental clinic, after being mandated by the state, to get help after one of her suicide attempts (her abusive husband is also a recovering heroin addict).  She knew she was wrong and that I was over it. So she used my younger brother (Carlo) to get me to still be around her Crazy Train. She tried to convince my younger brother (Carlo) that I abandoned them, to be with my friends. 

Don't be fooled

Eventually, the truth came out when she had to call the police on her abusive husband, because she feared for her life. He was deported to Mexico, because undocumented immigrants can not do extensive time in American prison systems. After he was released in Mexico, she told me she was going back to save him. He called her after coming down from a heroin binge. During one of her manic episodes she decided it was her mission from god to save him. 

Who do I save? I am not a saint.

I had a tough decision to make. I needed to get my younger brother(Carlo) out of that situation. But what about my half brother(Ricky)? By then she had one child with that monster and I wasn't sure what to do. I was 25, recently married, taking care of my dying biological father (Daro) and was stuck. I decided that I would save my full blood younger brother (Carlo) and not my youngest half brother (Ricky). I was afraid that if I saved my youngest half brother (Ricky), he would one day hate me for taking him away from his biological  father (abusive recovering heroin addict). So I made my mom sign over custody of my younger brother (Carlo), and got him off the Crazy Train. 

I may have done the right thing but the Crazy Train is still going full steam

I made a vow after my mom yelled at my wife and accused her of not taking care of my brother Carlo, that I would cut her completely out of my life. I talked to my counselor about it and after a few sessions, it was agreed, that she is just to negative to have around. It was settled. I blocked her from my email and all social media accounts. 

Cutting out people you love is never easy

Recently I had to make the decision to cut out my youngest half brother (Ricky) as well. I had to, because she was using him to get to me:

"He kept asking why do you hate her so much? Why do you hate my hard working dad?" 

I couldn't tell him the truth. I didn't want him to resent his parents, that have worked so hard, to cover up their ugly past. Besides what can I do?

The terms of keeping contact with my youngest brother Ricky were simple. He can be my friend on Facebook as long as he doesn't talk to me about the Jehovahs Witness religion or my mom. He couldn't keep these terms,eventually I could hear my mom speaking for him in his emails.

He is only 17 years old. I live in Japan now, it's not like I can rescue him, even if he wanted to get away (which he doesn't). He's happy and perhaps ignorance is bliss. 

If you were me would you introduce your daughter to the person who psychically tortured you for 13 years and mentally manipulated you through suicide attempts for 25 years?

I said at the end of my podcast that the Cycle of Abuse ends with me and it does. Keeping her Crazy Train, from arriving at my families station, is my way of ending it. Even if it means keeping other people I love at a distance. If you are sharing my pictures and videos of my daughter with her that's fine. But at least know what your are dealing with before you judge me. Also feel free to share this article with her. I don't hate anyone. In fact I forgive her. 

But forgiveness doesn't mean I am going to let her hurt me or family anymore

P.S. If you don't like what you read feel free to delete me from you FB. Thanks :) 

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

References 

McDermid, J., & McDermid, R. C. (2016). The complexity of bipolar and borderline personality: an expression of ‘emotional frailty’?. Current opinion in psychiatry, 29(1), 84-88.

Zimmerman, M., Martinez, J., Young, D., Chelminski, I., Morgan, T. A., & Dalrymple, K. (2014). Comorbid bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and history of suicide attempts. Journal of personality disorders, 28(3), 358.

Guerrilla Radio: Why I listen to podcasts and internet radio

I started listening to internet radio about 7 years ago because I fucking hated FM radio. I was sick of it! The commercials, the fake DJ's, the media marketing, top 40, all of it! 

FM radio is big brother, big sister and everything that is wrong with corporate America

Most of FM radio was bought out by Clear Channel (now IHeartinc.) around 1998 (Potter, 2000). By the year 2000 most of everything you heard on FM and AM radio, was being orchestrated by ClearChannel. 

"That's the day the music died"   - Bill Cassidy

The problem was that, with this, followed the same American Idol format all across the Nation. There used to be a day that music was made by regular people that sucked. They played everyday and got good enough to record their first album. Once it was recorded they gave it to their local radio station. This gave them a platform to be discovered. 

Welcome to the Borg

Fast forward to now and you don't hear a local band in the top 40 roster any more. The reason is that for a local artist to be in the top 40 roster, they have to pay IHeartinc for primetime air. This is when all music and radio talk shows, became the media puppets you hear today. 

Fuck Carson Daly I'm out! You can be out too!

The truth is you can unplug too! It's easy! If you're reading this on your Smartphone then you have access to so much more than bullshit FM radio. Personally I use a free app called TuneInRadio which works world wide (even in Japan! ). Through this I can listen to any kind of music station (yes even your bullshit top 40 is there) and podcasts. Just use your blue tooth, to connect to any blue tooth ready device (earphones, car etc).You select the stations you want to hear and Shazam! Best of all it's free, with minimal commercials and no annoying radio Dj's! 

Why podcasts?

I got into podcasts because they are easy avenues to learn on the go. For example I throw on some Big Picture Science, while driving to work or running 10k in the mountains. Now my drive (or run) has transformed into a presentation on the latest discoveries in science from Physics to Psychology. 

Not into science? How about some stand up comedy?

There are also some awesome stand up comedy stations along with talks shows. I like listening to things I don't always agree with. That's why I listen to the Joe Rogan Experience. Sometimes I'm like fuck you Joe, other times I am surprised at the diverse perspectives of the interviews he does. 

The red pill or the blue pill

The choice is yours. But you really don't have to put up with being marketed to all the time. Especially when you're driving your car. Oh and if you get a chance (shameless plug here)listen to my podcast from my website or on iTunes, for free of course :) 

Drive Safe!

Social Gelo with Angelo

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

References 

POTTER, D. (2000). A vast wasteland. American Journalism Review, 22(9), 58-58.

Japan: Penis festivals, weird sexual fetishes and reality

Today I had a friend post an article of a group Japanese people hauling around a giant pink penis on a platform. Following the post was a question I get asked way too much. 

Is this a real event?

Honestly, I have been sent some crazy articles about Japan and if I believed everything I read I would think that Japan is this crazy, kinky, zany place where something is always happening.I read one article that said that the "new trend" in Japan is getting busy in green goo. I'm sure you have all heard about the vending machines that sell used girls panties for those perverts with underwear fetishes. Don't forget the people that wear one piece spandex suits and walk around groping each other faceless in Tokyo.

But reality is quite different. 

First of all NO! I have never seen a group of Japanese people hauling a giant pink penis around. In fact as crazy as these articles portray Japan, Japanese people are very conservative. Most Japanese people, make American conservatives, look like liberal hippies. These articles are grabbing the outlying, rare and sometimes, made up parts of Japanese culture and making them seem like trends. 

Does this mean there is no panty selling vending machines?

Fuck if I know, maybe, but I've never seen one. The thing is if we were to make generalizations on the odd parts of a society, we can come up with some crazy stuff. Imagine if we judged American culture based on a porn expo in Vegas. We would start thinking that Americans are into mass orgies and filming everything. Then again with the amount of celebrities releasing sex tapes this may be true. But my point is that every day life in Japan, is much less interesting than the way Japan is portrayed in these articles.

"My friend in the military went to Okinawa and saw a live sex show"

I'm sure he did. But this doesn't mean Japanese people approve of live sex shows. In fact many of those types of businesses are tied to a prostitution issue that Japanese society is trying to deal with. 

So what should I expect when I travel to Japan?

It depends where you go.If you visit a big city like Tokyo or Osaka, you will find some crazy things to do. But if you travel to places the locals go to like Tottori, Shikoku Island and Kyoto. You are going to find places rich in culture and relatively quiet. Places like these close early. No all night partying or sex shows. 

The point I'm trying to make is don't think just because you found some amazing article about Japan that it involves all of Japan. It's probably one small isolated incident. Kind of like we shouldn't make rash generalizations about America based on what happens in Vegas, we shouldn't do the same by what happens in Ropongi. 

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

Japanese Culture: Things I Iove and things I hate and everything in between

There is a very violent Japanese animation I watched a long time ago called Ninja Scroll. In it the main character has an awesome quote he says:

"People are people no matter where you go"

Before I moved to Japan I used to think that Japanese society was the best. As a social scientist I spent a lot of time criticizing American society and seeing all of its flaws. I was looking forward to a change and thought Japan is going to be better.

I ended up finding that it's not better just different. 

At first I found that awkward shyness of everyone relieving. No one gets in your face so everyone must be getting along right? Wrong! What I found was that although no one gets in your face they will simply ignore you when they don't agree. This leads to a type of social isolation that is unprecedented in the U.S.

I recently said goodbye to some good British friends I made that were in Japan for a little over a year. They said that they loved Japan and really enjoyed the culture. I asked them while you were here how many Japanese friends did you make? The problem was that although they were surrounded by Japanese people, they could never really seem to get close to any of them. Now I should make it clear that this was not the reason they moved. But it was something that occurred that is not uncommon to people who stay in Japan short term as an Expat. 

In its design Japanese culture has clubs and clicks that are impenetrable to Gaukokjin (foreigners). No matter how much Japanese you learn, or how much you know about Japanese culture, you will always be a foreigner. 

Now there is exceptions to this. I mean obviously I have lived here for 3 years and my wife of 10 years is Japanese. But even she tells me, about how amazed she was, at the way Western culture facilitates close friendships with people that have nothing in common. In Japan the friendships are facilitated by work,school or some other type of social club. But in places like the U.S. they form in more random circumstances. 

Now I think the problem is me. I critically analyze everything so I am starting to believe that you can put me anywhere and I will find the good and the bad in any society. But as time passes I have learned to accept that living in Japan means making some friends you never knew you would make. For example one of my good friends is Japanese Ex-gangster and Pro MMA fighter. We get some funny looks from people when we hang out. But I hang out with him once a week. He was surprised about our friendship and told me that one of the things he likes about me is that I don't judge him. His past and tattoos are fascinating to me. 

Saying goodbye and having reunions are the way things work

Another good friend of mine was recently transferred to Yokohama and works for an Import/Export company. We meet once or twice a year and have dinner at a mutual friend of ours restaurant in Kobe. The point I am trying to make is that my problems are not just unique to me being a foreigner, but to everyone in Japan. Japanese people have a hard time forming close relationships because of the nature of their business culture transferring  them all over Japan. Even my MMA friend was gone for a year because of being transferred to train and fight up North.

Which brings me back to the people I left behind in the U.S. It is the same difference. 

"People are People no matter where you go"

But I'd like to add that this is not a bad thing :) 

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

Inflation and Politics: Why raising the minimum wage won't work

Before I start let me state that I actually don't see why people are getting angry about how much a burger flipper makes. Also the argument that the military gets paid less doesn't validate anything. It only restates that there is a problem with the living wage. 

Both military and burger flippers deserve a living wage. But raising the minimum wage may not solve this problem.

Why?

Inflation is an issue that occurs when the money supply increases faster than the economy can keep up with. That means raising the minimum wage reduces job growth over a period of several years (Meer & West, 2015). In other words in order for everyone to get let's say $15 and hour, the companies have to sell enough to sustain that wage. 

But companies make plenty of money why can't they pay their employees more?

Because no CEO wants to make less money. Simply put greed allows this to continue. The reason McDonalds can afford to pay their employees more than the military is because of the capitalistic incentives that push this system.

The military is a socialistic enterprise that runs on our tax dollars. This is why McDonalds is paying more to their employees than the military is paying it's lower ranking soldiers. 

This is fucked up what can be done?

If money was distributed through out government positions fairly, than there is no reason the military should not get a living wage. I think we could argue that politicians should not get paid more than the people who fight for our freedom. But I'm sure some one in Washington would have a hissy fit over that statement. 

The point is that we shouldn't be getting mad at people that are not making enough. Instead we should be thinking about those who make too much for doing relatively nothing, just drop in on C-SPAN and you can see plenty of them falling asleep during speeches in congress. 

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology) 

References 

Meer, J., & West, J. (2015). Effects of the minimum wage on employment dynamics. Journal of Human Resources.

Competitive Parents: What happens when the kids can't keep up?

One of the things I do is run English programs for children in the countryside of Japan. 

I used to think that in America we had a problem with parents blaming teachers for their childrens grades. But I'm realizing it might be a generational mindset.

Education is like running a marathon. In other words it doesn't matter who is ahead or who is behind. As long as you finish that's what counts. IF YOU QUIT YOU LOSE EVERYTHING. 

Think about it. What's better 70% or 0%.

Yes, some people are smarter than others, but if you have a teacher that is willing to work with what you got, that's priceless. 

So please stop competing with "The Smith's" your kids progress is their own and that's awesome for them. Also unless you have a teacher that's neglecting them, stop blaming teachers for your kids progress.

Everyone learns at their own pace and that's OK 👌

Much love to all the parents out their pushing their kids to learn something new. 

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

Living in an Era: Are we using the internet to its full potential?

Dan Carlin the host of the Hardcore history podcast once said that:

"People that are living through an era don't know they are living through it"

In other words when something amazing is happening in history the people experiencing this amazing event, are too caught up in the moment to realize how amazing the moment really is. 

Right now we are living through one of those moments. 

The internet is still relatively young.When you look at how vast history is, you get this sense that as humans we still haven't figured out how to use the Internet. We have the power to connect with people from across the world!But this power is taken for granted because of how easy it is to access it.

In my lifetime I have witnessed the Internet evolve from random chatrooms and dial up. To the light speed social networking beast it has become. 

What do people do now that they can connect with everyone?

This is a question civilizations will ask about us 100 years from now. The answers are a little sad. 

What do we do?

Some connect with friends on Facebook. Others destroy and troll people on Twitter. While a few prefer to make 3 minute videos on YouTube. 3 minutes because the average attention span in this age is less than a goldfish (Paul et al, 2012). 

What is the potential?

We have the potential to do so much more than send dick pics and watch 2 minute twerking videos! I believe if people can take the time to interact the same way they do in person, online, it can be more than just a passing moment.You know, like when you see someone in their car in the freeway. This lack of community is what allows you to cut them off while flipping them the bird. 

Would you still be interacting this way of the person was some one you knew?

Then why should this be any different online? 

Social Gelo with Angelo 

Angelo Ferrer (M.S. Psychology)

References 

Paul, J. A., Baker, H. M., & Cochran, J. D. (2012). Effect of online social networking on student academic performance. Computers in Human Behavior, 28(6), 2117-2127.